The Clique Sporking Chapters 3-6
Mar. 2nd, 2019 07:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
b1tchlasagnaThe Block Estate: Massie’s Bedroom
2:25 PM, September 1st
Cut to Claire trying to take in the view from the Massive Blockhead’s bedroom, from the tennis courts, to the swimming pool, and the stone guesthouse. She’s never lived in such a fancy place and she must feel like a fish out of water, this is so different from what she’s used to, back in her middle class neighborhood in Florida. She starts to play around with her bracelets, and the Massive Blockhead decides to make a backhanded comment. It’s not much at first, but when you scratch the surface it becomes a subtle insult. “I believe you made those in kindergarten and they still fit you, you must have super-tiny wrists.”
Because you know, only kindergarten children wear homemade bracelets. Once those kids enter the first year of primary school, they ditch all that and they start acting like twenty something year olds. /s
Yeah, that was sarcasm.
Claire doesn’t get it so she corrects the Blockhead and says “I didn’t make these in kindergarten. “My best friends made these for me when I left Florida.” Well that’s very nice of them. They gave her a camera too, Claire says it was to send “pictures of my new school, and my new friends.” Claire tries to take a picture of Massie, so she could be her first new friend, but Massie moves so the picture comes out looking blurry. Claire’s still unfazed, she notices a mannequin, a headless figure that stood on a metal stand by Massie’s closet, and she asks Massive Blockhead where she got it, to which the latter responds, “I get a new one every year for my birthday.” It’s not just there for decoration, the mannequin is pretty much a model for the Blockhead to test out the various possible #outfitsoftheday before she decides on one.
Claire moves over to the desk, and sees pictures of the Massive Blockhead and her friends, you know the ones I went over in my last sporking. There was one of four girls screaming on roller coasters, lying on sleeping bags and waving, dressed up as gun-toting cowgirls for Halloween with fake blood dripping from their mouths and Bean in a cowboy hat, and one with Santa at the mall, where Massie made the bunny ears with her two fingers behind [Santa’s] head.
Claire says she can’t wait to meet the others and when Massive Blockhead hears this, she lifted her eyes as if she was peeking out over a pair of sunglasses and she tells Claire “I’m sure you’ll meet a bunch of other people you’d rather hang out with.” Claire has doubts but Massie insists that “we have our own thing going and you’ll probably feel weird if you try to join in. You know, because we’ve known each other for so long.”
I'll play devil's advocate, I can sympathize with her here and this is probably the last time I'll do so. It can be hard to integrate a new person into your current group of friends, especially if it’s someone you don’t know very well. It can be awkward, you can’t use your inside jokes, you’re not sure what is ok and not ok to say because you don’t know how they’ll react, and if Friend A decides to talk about Friend B and what she’s been up to with Friend C and how Friend D feels about it it, it won’t be as fun when one person feels left out of the loop.
They’re interrupted by the ringing of a cordless phone in her room. To everyone born in the late 90s or afterwards, this means she has her own personal phone line that's separate from the main landline. It’s Kendra, and she wants Massive Blockhead to show Claire the guesthouse. So she does, but it’s all the way across the huge backyard lawn so Massive Blockhead decides to change shoes. She slid open one of her closet doors, and that was when Claire notices at least fifty pairs of shoes tucked away in different cubby-holes. The Blockhead picks out a pair of chunky orange Prada flip-flops, to which Claire asks why she’s changing if they’re just going to the backyard. Massive Blockhead explains that her “heels get stuck in the grass and it ruins them.” She doesn’t offer one to Claire, because Claire’s wearing Keds, white Keds mind you, and she “won’t mind if those get a little muddy.”
I wish this is how the scene went:
“Actually, I do,” Claire corrected.
Massie stopped. She’d had her back turned to Claire, whilst she walked to the huge mahogany doors that separated her bedroom from the hallway. She was only a few feet away when Claire spoke; Massie had been walking so fast after giving Claire with what she considered to be a subtle dig at the girl’s cheap shoes. She turned around, realizing she’d made a mistake, thinking Claire would be too stunned to say anything.
Claire thought Massie looked surprised, for she wore the same expression she had on when Claire said she couldn’t wait to meet the girls in the photos. But it only lasted for about half a second, before Massie’s face reverted to one resembling that of a doll, flat and emotionless. That was deliberate, Massie liked to keep her expression as neutral as possible so she’d be impossible to read. That way, the Pretty Committee, and everyone else beneath her would be unable to use her feelings against her.
“I do need flip-flops,” Claire repeated. She pointed to her Keds. “I’m wearing white shoes. Cleaning mud off these would be a nightmare.”
Massie still looked as aloof as ever, but her mind was conflicted. On one hand, she wanted to roll her eyes and tell Claire “they’re just Keds,” in the most annoyed tone she could muster, but she knew Kendra and William would have something to say if she went with that. For one, Claire was a guest, and a daughter of his oldest friend no less. One word of that to her parents and she’d be getting a stern lectured on what it meant to be a good host. Massie hoped Claire would be too timid to tell, but she couldn’t be sure. She’d just met Claire and she’d already made a wrong assumption.
“Oh. Of course.”
She hurriedly went back to the cubby and took out another pair of flip-flops; they were pink and outdated, as indicated by the light layer of dust that’d gathered on top. Even if this new girl tattled, at least her parents wouldn’t chastise her about being a rude host. Claire had gotten what he wanted. This time.
Instead Claire is actually too stunned to speak, she didn’t know how to respond, and they both leave. This is only the beginning. After school starts, it gets worse, the Blockhead goes from merely being rude to bullying Claire. One of the scenes even reminded me of something that happened when I was around the same age, not to me, but it still left a bad taste in my mouth. And this is all for making her miss spa day, and not dressing fashionably enough. Truly a likable character she is. 
The Block Estate: The Driveway
4:15 PM, September 1st
Massive Blockhead’s trying to wind down and relax after her oh so stressful day of meeting the
The Blockhead starts complaining about how the Lyons are deliberately taking advantage of William, like platonic gold diggers, and then she asks Isaac why they can’t just stay at a YMCA nearby. After hearing that, Isaac got annoyed enough to give her one of his you-did- not -just-say-that looks and he ejected the “Cheesy Pop” CD from the stereo. When I first read that, I thought Cheesy Pop was the name of some 2000s band I didn’t know about, then I Googled it and all I got were playlists of cheesy pop music and pizzas with cheesy crusts, then I searched cheesy pop CD, and I got results like The Ultimate Cheese Party and the Cheeseroom Playlist. The closest thing I could find was the CD of Incredibly Cheesy Bop, performed by Bop Mania.
Isaac is no doubt in a difficult position. He obviously wants to let Massive Blockhead know she crossed the line, but she’s his boss’ daughter and a daddy’s girl who has William wrapped around her finger. If he doesn’t choose his words carefully, Massive Blockhead could report him and have him fired. Fortunately, Isaac articulates his thoughts well enough, reminding her it’s only temporary “until Mr. Lyons finds a house of his own.”
Massive Blockhead, being rich and incredibly spoiled asks “what’s so hard about buying a house?” They must be poor then, she decided and she said “poor” the way her mother said “fat.” I have not seen Kendra ever say fat, but given the context of this, I’m sure it wasn’t in a good way.
When she tries to push the CD back in, Isaac presses eject again. This time he changes the subject. “Claire seems really sweet.” But Massive Blockhead retorts back “if I wanted someone sweet following me around all day at school, I’d bring Bean.” Isaac warns her to “be nice.” The rest of the ride’s silent, I guess Isaac has reached his limit. If he says any more, he would be in danger of being fired. Wasn’t that sad? None of her parents ever discipline her. William has the excuse of being busy at work, Kendra is just...blind. The only one who even tries to rein Massie in when she goes too far is the driver. Let that sink in. The one who puts any effort into disciplining Massie at all is a mere employee of the family with no blood ties.
They get to the farm, and Massie greets Brownie with a bag of carrots, cutely cut into shapes like stars. After Brownie finishes the treat, Massive Blockhead put her foot through the rhinestone-studded stirrup and hoisted herself up. She tapped him lightly with her Hermés riding crop, and they started going along a private trail with lush green grass surrounding the dusty path and
“Brownie, did I tell you I’ll be entering the seventh grade as a bra wearer?” Massive Blockhead decides to continue about how that’s one thing Claire can’t join in on no matter how hard Kendra pushes it, “she’s even flatter than Kristen.”
But the conversation gets cut short when a wild rider on a black horse appears. Cue the Pokemon music. He shouts at her to watch out and Massive Block had turns around and screamed when she saw how close his horse was to Brownie. She’d be pushed off the trail and into a ravine, be at the rate she was going, it might as well be a graveyard.
We don’t see that. In fact, Massie doesn’t even get a scratch. While the black horse passes them, Brownie gets so startled, he stopped unexpectedly and would’ve launched Massie straight into the air if she pulled hard on the reins.
The way this is written, I first thought this was the sequence of events: Brownie stops in his tracks completely, he just stops moving and Massie would’ve shot up mid air but she held on. But on my second reading, I thought maybe this was the sequence: Brownie stops, then he gets into a rearing position, and Massie would've shot up, but held on. That would explain the last part about him going back on all fours. The writing's not clear.
Wikipedia classifies the Clique as young adult. But I don't think that's accurate, going by the simplistic writing, I think it would be better classified as "middle grade" as in, for people in middle school. Besides, YA usually has main characters that are in their older teens, to make them more relatable to their target demographic. I can't picture older teens picking up the Clique, but I can picture primary school kids and kids in junior high reading this series. That's because people will "read up" but they won't "read down," they will read books with characters that are their age or older, but they won't do that same with books starring younger characters. For the most part anyways. That's another reason I think it's inaccurate to call the Clique books YA. The YA crowd aren't the ones reading the books.
Getting back on track, the Massive Blockhead pulls herself together and decides to confront him. She sees he’s heading for High maintenance Very, very high maintenance Massie isn’t focused on her looks, something’s obviously up.
They get there in record time, Brownie’s drinking from the lake by the time the rider arrives and by then Massie looses the bravado. “Brownie, what if this guy is a toothless escaped convict?” When she keeps her eyes on him, Massie gripped her phone just in case she needed to make a quick call to 911.
Quick question, can everyone who honestly believed it could be an escaped killer make some noise and say "gullible?"
I thought so. What a dead herring.
Of course, it was no convict, it was a cute boy, with shaggy blond hair, blue eyes and tanned, muscular arms. The kind you get from real physical labor, not the gym. Massive Blockhead immediately takes a liking to him. I’m going to let the cat out of the bag. This is Chris Abeley, the one time love interest. I would tell you not to get attached to him, since he doesn’t show up as much after this book, but there’s nothing to get attached to. When he’s not a one dimensional love interest who’s only reason for existence is to look cute, he’s cheating on his girlfriend. You see, that’s why he’s a one time love interest, he’s revealed to have a girlfriend, yet in this chapter he still ends up asking the Massive Blockhead out, and he even calls it a date. That was when he became unlikable for me. I hate cheating, I don’t root for characters that cheat, especially when they’re supposed to be on the "good side," though I suppose calling him that is giving Chris too much credit. You know those female characters who only exist to be eye or arm candy to the Lemon Stu? Chris Abeley is the male equivalent to the Massive Blockhead, who informs him, “you’re on a private trail.”
But he doesn’t care, instead, he dazzles her like a Cullen, with his Crest Whitestrip smile, and all the Blockhead could think about was how cute they’d look together at the fall school dance. Chris teases, “is that any way to treat a guy who just got back to town?” and Massie returns the banter with “what were you in jail for?”
“Reckless riding.” Actually, he just got back from boarding school in
Massive Blockhead wishes she wore her nicer brown trousers instead of the ones she has on right now. But she shoves that thought aside to pet Chris’ horse Tricky, who Chris talks to, just like Massie with Brownie, but she asks him “don’t you think that’s a little strange?”
I'm not sure if the Blockhead is unironically being hypocritical or if she's just saying that to tease him. One is just as plausible as the other, and the book never specifies which it is. You know how people get annoyed with purple prose? I feel like I'm reading reverse purple prose. It's like that scene with Brownie and Massie all over again, where the unclear writing just confused me. These could've been easily caught and corrected by an editor. Speaking of which, do Lisi Harrison and Stephenie Meyer have the same editor, you know the ninja nonexistent editor?
They introduce each other, and Massive Blockhead changes her mind about him getting off her private trail, but Chris the Cheater doesn’t want to be hunted down again, and he reveals “I’ll be back next Saturday when this trail is open to the public. Maybe I’ll see you then?”
Massive Blockhead’s so smitten, “ ’kay,” was all she could manage.
Then Chris says the one line that made me dislike him. “Then it’s a date?” And he rides away before Massie can give him the obvious answer, yes.
If they left out that last line, that one line, I wouldn’t mind Chris, by which I mean I'd be apathetic about him. Seriously, you had one job.
Now I just plain don't like him, that's how much I hate cheaters; the very act is enough to overshadow Chris' other traits, which are pretty much nonexistent.
The Block Estate: Massie's Bedroom
9:40 PM September 1st
At bedtime, Massive Blockhead’s sitting on top of her white chaise in white boy shorts and a white tank top, brushing Bean. And get this, there’s no mention of any designer brands for her pyjamas. Cue the flying pigs, 
Massie’s wearing something that isn’t high end. Given how she has designer everything, even a riding crop, I’m surprised she’s not in Gucci underwear.
Her parents come in and William asks, “are you all ready for school tomorrow?” She is and she even has an #outfitoftheday prepared on the mannequin. It wore a lavender Moschino mini, a gray wide-neck slouchy T-shirt, and silver Jimmy Choo sandals with a denim blazer over the T-shirt, even though it was supposed to be seventy-eight degrees tomorrow. That’s about 25°C by the way.
Kendra tells Massive Blockhead she’ll be waken up at 7:00, so Isaac will get the car ready at 7:45, before William asks what she thinks of the Lyons so far. He even comments that “Claire is great isn’t she?” Massive Blockhead, meanwhile, can’t believe that it’s not butter he “used to be such good friends with Jay” because they’re as different as night and day. The editor in me spots a minor error here, they are still good friends, used to implies they’re not friends anymore.
William pleads with her to just given them a chance, and even adds “for me?” That only works if she thinks highly of you, and she doesn’t, buddy. Kendra handed Massie a small gift-wrapped box, saying maybe she’ll change her mind after this.
The
Are either of you going to say anything? Your friends from condescending “considerate” enough to not let the
The only thing Kendra does is reach for her daughter’s arm and skilfully unfastened the bracelet, as if she worked behind the counter at Tiffany & Co. That’s a weird way of saying Tiffany’s. I know Tiffany & Co is the actual name of the company but most people just say Tiffany’s, like how they say Home Depot instead of The Home Depot. The editor in me also thinks the line would’ve worked without the comparison to Tiffany’s. It would've been better in fact, it would've felt more natural, now it looks like the author's advertising for Tiffany's.
William says “it looks great” and “they’ll be happy to see you wearing it.” Her parents kiss her good night, and then William and Massive Blockhead agree to resume their 8:15 PM walks with Bean now that school’s starting. Then William and Kendra leave, and Massie looked at the eyesore that dangled off her favorite piece of jewelry. She doesn’t like it as much now, she removes it, placing it on her nightstand. The Blockhead takes out a PalmPilot, and at first I thought this was a brand of notebook, like Lisa Frank. But when I googled it, I found out it’s actually a PDA. Upon learning that, I burst into laughter, because of how dated it makes the book seem. It wouldn’t have had the same effect if the author just had her write in a notebook. That would’ve been timeless; writing on paper with a pen is timeless, it's been around for centuries and it will stick around. PDAs are a different story, they're as outdated as pagers. It's ironic, the author gave a gadget she thought would make Massie look cool and for the time period, it probably did but now it's horribly outdated, like a flip phone.
Instead of writing something like a diary entry, the Massive Blockhead starts to make a list of what’s in and out. She calls this a state of the union. This is because diaries could fall into enemy hands so easily.
After this, she tells Bean “five more sleeps until I see Chris Abeley again” and decides it’s time to get some beauty sleep before the first day of school. So she grabs and remote on the nightstand and it’s nighty night for the Blockhead.
The Guesthouse: Claire's Bedroom
1:03 AM, September 2nd
While everyone else in the mansion’s snoozing, Claire is wide awake. She tossed and turned. What is making her so nervous? Reading the Octavian Country Day School Handbook, at first she thought reading would calm her down, but it had the opposite effect, it reminded her of just how out of place she was. Certain lines she’d read in the glossy OCD booklet haunted her like the lyrics to an annoying song she couldn’t get out of her head. Yes, the school is abbreviated to OCD, as in obsessive compulsive disorder. Why? I have no idea. Do their students act like they have OCD? No, nothing like that so far. Is it purely coincidental? Possibly, but when you’re writing and the name of your school can be abbreviated to a mental disorder, shouldn’t the first thing in your head be “I need to change the name?” It’s as if the author, looked at that with a “meh, oh well,” reaction.
Like, Fashion is a fine art and a true form of self expression… which is why OCD prides itself on being an anti-uniform private school. It is a given that all students will take matters of personal style and grooming very seriously.
First, the f in fashion doesn’t need to be capitalized. Second, I’m just as confused as Claire.
I understand that most schools in the
Some of their alumni include, but probably aren’t limited to, thirteen Fortune 500 CEOs, even gold-medal Olympians, four Pulitzer Prize winners, three Oscar winners, two senators, and one secretary of state. It makes so much sense to make OCD a uniform school to establish just how fancy this American Eton is. What a missed opportunity. I have one theory on why the author didn’t write it that way, it’s so she can describe what the characters are wearing. I would allow her to get away with it if this was a TV series instead of a book. I explained in my last sporking why focusing on someone’s clothes is fine onscreen but not much on page. It’s because, unless you’re specific to the point of purple prose, I won’t see what the author sees in her head, even if I stop reading halfway and Google everything, I’ll have hundreds of results and I still won’t be sure which one is the one the author has in mind. On screen all that could be shown in one second, and I won’t have to be distracted with Googling clothes.Hey, author? you have to write to suit your medium or take advantage of your medium. You're doing just the opposite of that here.
Third, how did Claire get in? The
A good answer would be that Claire, like Kristen is also there on a scholarship, it would’ve taken one line and everything would be all cleared up. Of course we don't get that.
Meanwhile, Claire kicked the covers off her legs and jumped out of bed. On the way to Todd’s room, the creaking wood floors made her uneasy. But the sight of Todd asleep on his back, buried under the frilly grandma blankets that came with the house, made her feel ease again. She slid into his bed, and his steady breathing made her feel less alone.
Enjoy the feeling of being less alone while you still can, Claire. Because tomorrow...tomorrow is going to be a hard day.
It goes even more downhill on the way to, and at OCD; it goes downhill at an exponential rate. If you were ever picked on in school, you're not going to like my next sporking.
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Date: 2020-02-20 08:58 pm (UTC)